Writing on a Depression Seesaw

A_dog_plays_on_a_seesaw_with_children_in_Scotland,Back from Hawaii and the jet lag is kicking my butt. I was awake in the 1:30 to 4 am range, woke up at 9, meant to sleep in a little longer…and next thing I know it’s 1 pm. Whoops.

What’s really annoying, however, is this writing seesaw I seem to be on. If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you’ve seen this for yourself. I’ll have an amazingly awesome day, like when I wrote a little over 2,500 words, followed by an absolute crap day where I write 0 words (and maybe throw out what I did write yesterday, so now it’s going into the negative).

And it’s not just about word count, or progress. My mood is significantly better on a good writing day. And my mood gets flushed down the toilet on a bad writing day. But saying it like that confuses the cause and effect: my mood dictates how I write. Sure, how I write feeds back into my mood, but it starts with mood.

So it takes twice as long to get anything done, because I can’t get anything done on a bad day. I just sit around and watch Netflix. And the bad days are way worse after getting seesaw’d from a good day, because I want to keep writing and keep up my momentum, but I’ve just plunged from one extreme to the other.

And since I’m writing this on a bad day (Sunday), that’s about all I’ve got. I’m just hoping that Monday will be a good day.

Jennifer A. Johnson is a newly published fantasy writer thanks to The Adventure of Creation anthology. She's still revising her first novel, but you can sign up for her free newsletter to pass the time.

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